In this crazy, busy world we live in, we are constantly under pressure to be doing something. We’re taught at an early age that being idle is wrong, and in later life, we feel we always need to be achieving something and moving forward. 

This is doubly so with our children. We’re always bombarded with pressure exams and tests and comparing our children (and our parenting) to others. It becomes even worse when our child is struggling with school or other activities and needs some extra help. “What can I DO?” we scream at the world! 

Frankly, it can be exhausting, and often we overlook the importance of a gentler approach. 

Take a minute, and imagine you have your favourite scented flower in your hands, perhaps lavender or a rose: close your eyes and inhale deeply through your nose - the aroma fills your lungs, and you can just let go. Exhale slowly and a massive sigh of appreciation – relaxing, Right? 

Sometimes, taking a moment to slow down and just breath can make a huge difference. Why do you think the concept of “mindfulness” has become so popular in recent years? We need those moments of stillness in our lives. Our children are no different. 

 The Big Sigh

So many learning challenges lead to stress and anxiety in children, which makes things worse. A big part of what I do is create a safe and stress-free space to move forward.  Taking time to stop and appreciate the moment is a big part of the journey. Instructing children to breathe from their nose is often complicated but we do it all the time when we smell.  

Before we do any activity, we do a Big Sigh - a moment of stillness and a moment to get ready for the next activity.  

In my lessons, I encourage children to smell an imaginary flower or freshly baked cakes and then let out a deep breath - I call this the “Big Sigh” - it’s a way of letting go and creating a moment of silence with tension just evaporating.  

The Big Sigh is also an opportunity for the child to use their nose for taking in air. Mouth breathing is more prevalent in neurodivergent people but it means their diaphragms never get a chance to contract nor expand and the lungs never take in the full amount of oxygen possible unlike with nasal breathing).  Children can easily visualise their shoulders rising with the inhalation and dropping with the exhalation.  The whole experience when stretched out becomes a beautiful moment.  

Children want to rush from one activity to the next. They want to rush because they do not have the control to do the activity in question slowly.  Breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth is good, breathing in through the nose and out through the nose (nasal breathing) is very difficult indeed, but we work towards this. 

Often this means slowing the child down so that they can focus. Before I start any exercise, I need the child to have their attention just right. Which is why the Big Sigh is so important. Later, if the child is rushing and running around, I just pause and wait. 

Give it a try at home! It has a profound effect. 

Further resources:

Dyslexia? Dyspraxia? ADHD? ASD? Speech & Language? Developmental Delay? Anxiety?

Is every school day a struggle? As a parent, you may feel exhausted and on this journey alone. Each year you see the gap getting wider. You need to do something - change the approach, help your child learn for themselves, find a way to turn this around before it is too late and they won’t listen - do this NOW. the first step is free.