When I was at school, I hated PE. I mean I really hated PE!  Cross-country running in squelchy mud or feeling cold in the thin inadequate PE kit. I hated it with a passion.  I also hated learning French.  The language made no sense to me and no amount of wearing berets or plastic onion necklaces would change my mind.  

Most people had a subject they hated at school – what was yours? And was there any reason for not liking it?  

To be honest, my main reason for hating PE was that I was terrible at it - I always came last in races and just didn’t see the point in running, unless it was chasing after the ice cream man who had forgotten to stop at our door, of course. As for learning French, the vocabulary just never stuck in my head. 

If I could have a pound every time I heard a parent say, “I can’t get my son/daughter to read.  We do it every night and he/she just refuses. Oh, they love to be read to, but they don’t want to pick up their own book and read,”   I could retire early.  I mean I wouldn’t, I love what I do, but I could buy that villa in Italy I’ve always dreamed of (I still prefer Italy to France any day). 

Changing the narrative

So, what do you do if your child does not like reading?  Do you force them against their will; each day trying to convince them, “to just try,” After all it’s good for them, isn’t it?  We all need qualifications, and your child is no different.  It’s a bit of a dilemma and we feel we need to do the best for our children to give them the best chances in life....are we doing that?  Can we think about this a bit more? 

At university, I studied Architecture, and the first thing we would be asked is ‘what is the intention of our design.’  If the intention was to have a theatre with no roof, and we designed an open-air theatre, then we would have fulfilled our intention and the design would make sense.  We can see other tasks in the same way – what is the intention, the point, of doing it?   

So, maybe, like me and running, your child just doesn’t see the point of reading?  After all, if we say that the intention behind their learning to read is to gain knowledge, to enjoy that knowledge, and share it with others – aren’t there other ways to do that?

The printing press may have been the big thing when it was invented 500 years ago, but now we have films, kindle unlimited, audiobooks, and Youtube. Don’t these give us access to the same material? After all, learning is learning, and it’s not just about reading books.  

Sir Ken Robinson, in his famous TedX talk, says we are designing creativity out of schools and I have to agree. With technology taking away so many jobs that used to be done manually, ideas and creativity are more important and powerful than ever. If our child’s experience in school is taking those things away, what are we leaving them with? We need space to think of our ideas and dream of the possibilities.  

Why so resistant?

I am absolutely not saying here that children shouldn’t read, or try to do well at school or university, but rather that we should think more about why they might be resistant to our efforts. We need to help them feel differently about it, so that they feel safe and comfortable, rather than tense and anxious.  

When students enrol on my course because they don’t like reading, or they hate numbers, I say “It’s ok! We won’t be doing that here.”  Of course, it’s a white lie, but once we start playing our learning games and laughing together in an inhibited way, we create a feeling of safety and the barriers start coming down. We all learn in different ways, and we want to access learning in the way best suited to that child and nurture their interests organically.    

If someone had said to me back then, in place of cross-country running we would be taking a brisk walk in the fields around our school to see the wildlife and the scenery, my perspective may have changed. I would not have had that anxiety and tension about it and might even have found a way to enjoy it.  

These are some of the fabulous reading resources I have found for helping reluctant readers: 

• Word runner in Kindle 

• Audible (to listen to books) 

• Kindle Unlimited (to read and listen) 

• Toe-by-Toe (a tool for parents to help children read) 

Mostly, what I want to share is the belief that all children can learn to read. They just each need a slightly different road map and the correct navigation tools. 

If your child is struggling to read, maybe I can help. Please get in touch and we can have a chat.  

Further reading:

Dyslexia? Dyspraxia? ADHD? ASD? Speech & Language? Developmental Delay? Anxiety?

Is every school day a struggle? As a parent, you may feel exhausted and on this journey alone. Each year you see the gap getting wider. You need to do something - change the approach, help your child learn for themselves, find a way to turn this around before it is too late and they won’t listen - do this NOW. the first step is free.