My child is now four but still doesn’t speak

When Miriam, a mother of four, called me, she was at the end of her tether: her 4-year-old could not speak. She had already waited a year for her doctor to refer her to a speech and language therapist and, despite pinning all her hopes on this, she was deeply disappointed when no tangible progress seemed to come from it. Her child had been discharged because no physical problem was found to be impairing his speech, and she was told they could not do anything to speed things up. He would speak when he was ready. This was not the sort of news Miriam wanted to hear, and she was desperate to get help.

Miriam herself was a very articulate and focused woman. She was a graduate of Cambridge University and worked in the City, so she understood the value of education. As a mother, she wanted to impart her passion for learning to her children, infusing them with the same joy of reading that she had. Miriam was born in the UK to Somalian parents, and told me her parents were both illiterate, so could never help her at school. On the other hand, she could help her own children, and was determined to do just that.

What baffled her was that her methodology for teaching her other children to read and write had worked three times before, but the youngest was very much behind. She went on to explain how she had taught her older three to trace the letters of the alphabet, followed by phonics and reading. None of these skills helped her youngest. He could barely talk, nor could he trace or draw. She said nothing seemed to work, and she did not know what to do.

Understanding speech problems and how children develop receptive language

Miriam shared that while her four-year-old’s speech production was incredibly poor, he was still able to communicate and make himself understood. I asked if he understood what was being said when spoken to, and she said yes, but he would only ever reply with one-word answers. He was a happy, cheeky little boy. He would play and enjoy parent and sibling time but refused to learn.

Babies and young infants look closely at their parents and mimic the mouth movements they see. As they develop, their babble gradually becomes understandable words. This close observation of another is called joint attention. For example, children point to things they want: toys, food, etc. Anything they want, and can't say the word for yet, they point to, and their parent understands. Also, parents may point too, and their child understands where their attention must go, say to a plane in the sky or a duck in a pond.

This pointing skill is important and is the prerequisite for the spoken word. Most children will join this together with the words their parents use when they, or the child, point to an object, and so learn its name. Miriam's four-year-old was participating at one level, the pointing, but not making the move to developing the associated language.

The Babkin reflex and language development

The Babkin reflex is a primitive reflex pattern that all babies have, even before they are born. Emerging around 9 weeks in utero, and active for the first four months after birth, it is observed when pressing the baby's palms when it responds by opening its mouth.

The developmental importance of The Babkin relates to:
·   eating (chewing)
·   speech
·   facial expression
·   communication skills

If the Babkin reflex is not integrated (that is, it develops into other skills, and they stop doing it), we can observe tightly clenched fists, speech difficulties, tense muscles in the jaw and excessive tongue movements associated with fine motor tasks.

Helping Miriam's son

When I started working with Miriam's son, he presented with an unintegrated Babkin reflex. When he tried to use a pencil, his tongue would pop out and wriggle around excessively. He also could not use the left side of his body, instead presenting one-sided movement on his right. We used various movement-based therapies, including MNRI, designed to work with primitive retained reflexes, and within six weeks, we noticed a tangible difference.

The little boy was much more interested in watching his mum talk. His babbling increased, and he was listening more. It was clear he was trying to talk more and seemed much more engaged in learning.

We have a long journey ahead still, because he has a lot of retained reflexes to work through, but Miriam is pleased to hear answers to her concerns and a way forward to actually making real progress.

Observing these kinds of problems in your child can be very concerning, but it is important to remember that you are not alone and help is at hand. If you have a problem with your child's speech, find out how reflex integration therapy can help by booking an appointment for an assessment.

Dyslexia? Dyspraxia? ADHD? ASD? Speech & Language? Developmental Delay? Anxiety?

Is every school day a struggle? As a parent, you may feel exhausted and on this journey alone. Each year you see the gap getting wider. You need to do something - change the approach, help your child learn for themselves, find a way to turn this around - to help while you can - do this NOW. the first step is free.