Are you worried about your child making friends in their first year of school - reception year?
Are you worried about your child making friends in their first year of school - reception year?
Is your child starting school in September. By the time this blog goes out they may have already started! School is a big leap from nursery, and thanks to the pandemic, your child has probably spent a lot more time at home than children would have normally in the past. Are you worried they will be like a fish out of water with so many more children around them and a new environment to negotiate?
For many children this September, making their first school friends might well be more challenging than in years gone by. However, with the right help, they can not only make those friends but have a great time at school for the next 5 years and beyond.
Here are some of our top tips to help your child succeed with making and keeping friends.
“They say you can’t be angry and smile at the same time”
Smile more :—)
Positivity starts with a smile! My first tip is to smile at your children more and encourage them to smile back. This sounds very basic, but it will make a difference. If you are an adult and someone smiles at you, you feel they are more welcoming than if they have a neutral face. They say you can't be angry and smile at the same time, so smiling can help children stay out of trouble and defuse problems with a cheery disposition. Smiling is an invitation to communicate!
How do you feel today?
Learning about emotions is the start of self-regulation. When a child can name their emotional state, even at the simple level of feeling upset or angry, they can begin to explore their emotions more and more and grow to understand them.
A biscuit a drink and a time to chat
Make time to talk to your child every day and help them make sense of what they are feeling. Sometime, we cannot help children directly when we send them off for the day, as much as we would like to. However, we can make a point of validating their feelings, at the end of the day, which helps them create a sense of themselves, removing doubt. Knowing you are being heard and understood is reassuring and helps remove the fear of uncertainty.
Friends can come to play!
Encourage them to have their new friends round to the house, or arrange a play date in the park. Showing your child they can have friends outside the school environment takes friendships to another level. It gives a clear sign you want them to have friends and that they are welcome in your home. It makes for secure bonds between children.
“teachers want the children in their class to thrive”
Does your child need a play buddy?
If your child is not making friends after half a term, this could be a sign that something is wrong. Go into the school, talk to the teacher and ask them if everything is ok. Children can be buddied with another child and that is all they need to get started with new friendships. Don't be afraid just take the plunge and do it - parents need not worry, teachers want the children in their class to thrive, so will be happy to help.
School is all about learning and children cannot learn if they are not happy. For brains to be fully functioning at their optimal level*, they need to be free of worry. When a child knows they are safe to express themselves freely, and that they are accepted and loved, they can mirror this in their play with others at school.
By the way, this *optimal mental level is called “a flow state”, and if you would like to learn more, Professor Mihaly Csikszentmihayl did a lot of work on how to get into and nurture an optimal state of happiness, his book FLOW, it is a recommended read for all parents!
If you need to discuss specific concerns about your child get in touch.
Dyslexia? Dyspraxia? ADHD? ASD? Speech & Language? Developmental Delay? Anxiety?
Is every school day a struggle? As a parent, you may feel exhausted and on this journey alone. Each year you see the gap getting wider. You need to do something - change the approach, help your child learn for themselves, find a way to turn this around - to help while you can - do this NOW. the first step is free.
About the Author
Usha Patel is a Neurocognitive Therapist and Director at Raviv Practice London. Parents searching to help their suspected/neurodiverse child can get evidence-based solutions with results in as little as 8 weeks. Those in search of jargon-free help can get started straight away.
